2005-11-07 - 12:13 a.m.
Distance and the brooding silencs as I sit in the corner of a dark bar, feeling gloomier than before I had left my own four walls. I understand where the term "wallflower" comes from.
It's the feeling that no matter where you stand, no one really sees you. No one notices you and sometimes, they even step on your feet or knock you over on their way to chat with more important people or on their way to the bathroom.
Or I could sit at a place for hours, only to receive a few pitied looks for being there alone or maybe a drink sent over from the crazy dude on the other end of the bar. Bartenders love me though. I guess that's the face they come on for anyone who walks through the door. The longer I feel ok there, the longer they get tipped for $3 pints.
But then again, that's love, right? Well, minus three dollar pints, you pay your dues, smile when you're told and you get repaid in kisses, caresses, hail mary's, and nights made not so lonely.
I'm sorry. I'm not that pessimistic, it's just the night. I should get some rest.
